Women and Breakthroughs: What Your Subconscious Wants You To Know Recording
Some of you might have listened to or attended this free class. However, I am sending out the link again with some comment on your journey. I facilitated this class to offer tools for coming into your body to hear and receive the parts of yourself that many times you keep in the dark, ignore and are afraid of. These parts call to you, evoke you, and challenge you to change.
PHA Newsletter format changing in July – Writer’s Blog now on GHAV
I will be changing the PHA Newsletter format starting next month. I will offer information and interactive journal writing “Feel Your Way Through It” prompts bi-weekly on these topics: Relationships, Recovery from Abuse, Career, Creativity, Spirituality and Addiction. You will have the opportunity to have your writings posted on the Give Her A Voice and/or PHA blog; just send in your email and writing, and whether or not you’d like to remain anonymous to primalhealing@aol.com. Sign up for my PHA newsletter using the form to the right and receive my Free Report: 7 Steps to Access your Creative and Spiritual Power, and receive the latest newsletter with the article, Fear of Change.
My personal writing journey will now be posted on the
Give Her A Voice Blog, Category: Marta’s Writing The Wave.
Change is Change, Part 1
“To live the life you want, you have to let go of the life you are living.” – Joseph A. Campbell
I always say, change is change. When we change it has a domino effect. Nothing can remain that is of the old paradigm…a new You has to be born. For some, change is being alone and in silence. For others it is climbing a mountain in a foreign country. Many fear intimacy and to change would mean opening your heart. Individuals who have always been leaders need to surrender, give up control and follow. And then others might need to lead, take charge and express. Only you know what will define change for you.
The undertaking of change is a fearful and at times a painful endeavor when you have built everything on what you “think” is true, real and familiar. But the journey of change is a transformational, spiritual road. At times you want to just move a few external pawns around in your life to convince yourself of the feeling of change. You can rearrange the furniture, however, it is still the same furniture.
Whether you want true love, a meaningful career, or to start a creative life, you need to internally change what is holding you back. Change is a multi-dimensional process — mind-body-emotion-soul—action. It happens from within first. Each layer has its own message to share with you. Change is a life-long process, because in each phase of your life you change. Who you are at twenty is different than at fifty. That is because you are always stripping away beliefs, feelings and thoughts from what your childhood, society and culture has taught you. You are always moving deeply into the more essential YOU that is always calling to you. And…that is a choice. Change is a choice. Change is a vulnerable process. It is revealing parts of yourself that is soft, pure and raw. A famous quote states, “Wherever you go, there you are.” And so, you can hide from change, but it will follow you.
Life has thrown strikes and blows at me that have evoked difficult and soul-searching change. I have been mysteriously led into the heroine’s journey of change. To honor the purpose of my life, I had to commit to a life-long process of change. At times, the changes I made appeared selfish and unacceptable to those close to me. Other times, changes forced me to relinquish my tightly held dreams in order to learn to love another more; finding at a later time to pick up those dreams once again. Life is a gift of change and movement, both inside and outside. When you resist change your life lacks luster, passion and aliveness.
The inner journey waits for you.
I have been a teacher/healer-therapist/artist probably since I was six. That might sound bizarre. But even then I had an imagination that soared me across the universe, wondering, ‘Why I am here?’ My quiet, creative and spiritual child angst against the loud, materialistic, unstable and controlling family I was born to. Even at such a young age, I thought that the stork dropped me off at the wrong house. Change was inevitable for me if I was going to live a life that had meaning to me.
I am still in the process of change—I am a work in progress.
In the last year I started Give Her A Voice, Inc., a non-profit, charitable 501(c)(3) organization that offers women a place to process the living truth and heal from trauma and abuse through creative and holistic practices. The Telling is a theatrical fundraiser that takes women through a journey of finding their emotional, creative and spiritual voice. We now have a new website,
www.giveheravoice.org. Check it out.
Additionally, I am proud to announce that I’ve completed my novel, Book of Generations. A novel about a passionate and driven woman, determined to heal from childhood abuse and discern if the voices and visions that visit her from age six is mental illness or her Jewish legacy from Mary Magdalena.
I continue to work with those fiercely committed to finding love, purpose and expression in their lives.
Groping in the Dark to Find the Light
I have been in the fertile void” — groping in the dark to the find the light — thirsting to live in uncertainty with a solid faith that holds me. I know the process is more important than the journey, and yet we live in a society that wants to have fast solutions, fix the problem and claims there you are only ten steps away from happiness and wealth. We have forgotten how the process shows us the way. It slows us down to feel our way through it. Feeling our way through is not just an airy fairy idea. Brain research has shown that our right brain, (limbic brain), the part that feels, intuits, creates and is spiritually connected, heals our bodies and minds. This part of our brain is connected to and talks to our nervous system, organs and cells. If we stay in our intellect, figuring it out, or numbing it out, we can develop depression, anxiety and other physical and mental dis-ease. Being in the fertile void allows me to find the deeper knowing, the mystery that guides me to find my true and authentic voice and destiny—the journey of being human.
Hugh Prather, author of Notes to Myself, wrote, “I’m so busy thinking about what I want, I can’t feel what I need.” Feeling what you need, hearing and listening in the quiet time with surrender to your body opens up a new perspective of what is happening in the moment, different than what you THINK is happening in the moment.
Over the past seven years, I’ve survived the death of my mother and my sister’s suicide. Faced the terror of my own death through a two year misdiagnosis of a chronic condition called gastroparesis; a motility issue in the esophagus and stomach — food could not stay down. It was a nightmare. The medical profession offered little support or knowledge.
I was thrown into the edges of a whirling storm. It pummeled me deeper and deeper into knowing myself in ways that stripped me to the bone. No spiritual text, psychological know-how, or person could teach me what I learned in these past years. Although there were several dedicated individuals that stuck by my side and held my hand and heart through this harrowing time, I still had to find my own answers through the inner resources of my intuition, trust, knowledge and awareness. I journeyed into the mystery of my own tattered mind, body and soul.
I’ve experienced a life, death, love and resurrection — a Humpty Dumpty — a life changing medical condition that re-awakened my heart and soul. I am here, alive, creative, thriving and re-configured energetically.
One size does not fit all. No one spiritual philosophy, ten steps, collective knowing or doctrine has the answers. I found out that spiritual wisdom is a guide not an answer. Each one of us has a unique path to walk in life. Our body wisdom and inner feelings are maps to our healing.
My feeling nature is the one constant that allows me to tune into my truth.
I feel so I heal.
I touch, taste, smell, hear and see, so I am.
My senses and my feelings keep me vigilant, creative and alive in each moment.
Once I was at a small gathering with Ram Dass, who at that time had been a spiritual teacher for twenty five years. I was astonished when he said, “I am only first learning what unconditional love means”. I knew then that I had a long journey ahead of me if he, who I idolized and who I believe knew everything, was still learning.
For me love is personal and therefore complex. I don’t know what it means to love everyone unconditionally. I do not walk on water…but I understand the language of feelings, which to me is the language of love.
Love is a kaleidoscope of colors and feelings. There are no negative feelings, only feelings. Each feeling is a portal into the divine.
Anger – red
Sorrow – blue
Fear – grey
Joy – purple
Hurt – green
Excitement – diamond white
Gratitude, A Needle in a Haystack
The white diamond sand lay at my feet
I touch the smooth granules and smell the smoke that whisks me into darkness
I watch my daughter dance and see her yearning
I see my husband’s brave eyes searching through his own fears
I see, I see many powerless, covered in defense,
then falling into grace
My body shivers with delight and terror.
I can’t escape myself. My body won’t let me.
Unless I want to leave and fly away into the night.
I chose to stay today.
I chose to live today
with life and all its mysterious, unsolicited challenges.
talks about the transition she made after turning 50:
Women in their early 50s often find themselves in a transition period I call “the fertile void.” It’s a very confusing time. You wonder what to do with the rest of your life. You get a pencil and paper and make a list of all the things I always wanted to do. You might take the list and try to prioritize it. But if your experience is anything like mine, your next thought is, “What’s wrong with me? I don’t want to do any of these things. I must be lazy or tired or fearful.”
